All Hail The Prophets Light on Earth!

It's Official. The winner of the Fantastic Prize for Week 1-3 of the Fantasy Competition is Troy Behning and Shake 'N Bake. Exploding out of the gates with the single best week score of 32, John Britvich and Fire Fans Wanna Win could not hold off Shake 'N Bake, as Troy managed his team to a three week score of 59 to top the competition.

As promised, Troy's Fantastic prize is the Caliphate of Turkmenistan. As Caliph, Troy will be adored as the Prophets representative on earth. As such, he will be too Divine to mingle with the common rif raf, and instead will be locked inside a palace and attended to by eunuchs. And, since Troy will need to convert to Islam, wine and beer will be off limits. And, per Taliban decree, all TV has been banned in the Caliphates Palace. So its just Troy, koolaid, and the eunuchs.

Fantastic!

Now, the Fantastic Prize for Leg 2 (weeks 4 - 6). This one took some thought. I mean, how do you top the Fantastic Prize from Leg 1?!? But I did my best. The winner of Leg 2 will be named the official Tail Gate Captain for the next 3 home games! As Tailgate Captain, you will direct the festivities, choose the food and beverages to be served, serve as chef (if you choose), and will wear the coveted Tailgate Captains Armband to the events so that everyone will recognize your greatness and respond accordingly (showering you with respect, affections, and free food and drink).

Huh? How about it? Fantastic, eh? So get busy managing those teams!

Week 4 scores are already in and, once again, Fire Fans Wanna Win has jumped out to a early lead...Let's get him!!

Vote for the McGoal of the Week...

Apparently, the powers that be have tired of seeing wicked Rolfe stingers voted Sierra Mist Goal of the Week, because the game tying goal ripped in by Rolfe didn't make the cut for week 4. However, the acrobatic Blanco header to McBride spin (what the!) slot home goal did make the cut.

McBride's McGoal needs your vote to land Goal of the Week honors. Vote here, vote early, vote often!

Fire Vs. Quakes - on TV in english....

It appears that the Fire are becoming more popular in Chicago! Comcast SportsNet Chicago will air this weekend's match against San Jose! See the link for more details. I'm not sure how far the CSN Chicago broadcast reaches, but this will beat having to translate on TeleFutura! I will be scanning from Indiana and with the Mc's in Missouri, who knows! Happy hunting for CSN in your neighborhood.

http://chicago.fire.mlsnet.com/news/team_news.jsp?ymd=20090407&content_id=237016&vkey=pr_chf&fext=.jsp&team=t100

Opening Dayyyyyy with a Winnnnnnnn! (sorry frozen fingers)

“It was a cold and wet December day…” wait it’s April, what the heck! Yes, true to form opening day was once again a cold and wet one, but Kris, Cindy, Mary and I toughed it out, or were just too frozen solid to move out of the elements once we got comfortable. Oh and we were comfortable and dry right up to the end of the national anthem, then the freezing rain began; lovely. With our rain proof gear donned, where all you could see was the horizontal slits for our eyes to peak out of and freeze in the open positions were ready for a nice and steady game. Oh the eye icicles, how I love the eye icicles!

So we didn’t see Blanco, not even during warm ups. If he was smart he worked in a “I don’t play in the snow” clause into his contract. Probably a good day to sit out with the way we were getting fouled (16 on NY) and with the elements opening the possibilities of a misstep or unexpected slide. No complaints here about him sitting this one out. We had our defense back again, with Ward in for Prideaux. The midfield looked solid with lots of speed and strength, and Nyarko and McBride started up front.

Steady game, right! Suddenly Thorington was issued a red card for almost a perfect slide tackle from behind after being the only player to hustle after a Red Bull on the loose. Speaking of Red Bull, why the heck does Toyota Park sell Red Bull when they are the enemy! I suggest a Red Bull protest! What kind of idiot in the marketing department stocks up on Red Bull for the day of a game against the sponsored team? Oh, and they ran out of coffee and hot chocolate, but there was plenty of Red Bull on ice! But I digress.

So I don’t think Thorington’s tackle was card worthy let alone a red card and you could tell that the Fire were just dumbfounded by the call. It might have been the first whistle of the game; I don’t recall (ice cubes in the ears). But needless to say I was a bit worried about playing 70+ minutes a man down against NY, since they should have been starving for a win, but I’m happy to say we kept the pressure on, all game. The defense was really good, the pressure was great and just a few lapses gave NY 4 shots on goal. Honestly, I think the elements were more of a challenge for the Fire than the Red Bulls. But Papa came through on a NY rebound and riffled a left foot shot in off the post and across the entire face of the goal before ending up in the side netting. GOAL!!!!!!!!! Suddenly the elements weren’t so bad, at least for about 90 seconds, and then we noticed our feet were frozen solid and we couldn’t stand!

Anyways, there were several good strikes and great defense by the Fire; it was a great game to watch! Rolfe and Prideaux made it in and then Washington came in real late to play up front, not sure what for, but anyways. All in all it was a great game to watch, live and we won! GO FIRE!
Seats, I forgot to mention the seats. They’re great! (insert Tony the Tiger voce) They are actually just to the right of center. Between our left most seat and the next seat in the row is the centerline, they are nice and tight to the field and no interferences. Although the staff, mascot and cheerleaders (whatever they were) still can’t through freebees high enough to get to us! We do have several seats on either side of us, so stay put unless you want to fight the knee step-over game. We didn’t get to commiserate too much due to the weather, but we had a wide variety of people around us; old, young, families, middle age groups, etc. It’s gonna be a great year, I can’t wait till the next game!

Ok, too long of a review, gotta go… GO FIRE!

Number One Fire Fan - Redux

If you liked the Jim Belushi spoof, here's a link to the extended version...

Watch This Before the Toronto FC Game

Proof positive that it isn't the victor who writes the history books -- rather, its the guy left owning the publishing company who writes the history books...



But what this really teaches you is that you should never get your history from a soccer fan blog.

Death to Toronto! Death to Canada! (Sorry, that was harsh, eh?)

Missing Chris?

Missing your Chris Rolfe fix? We aren't getting much of last year's Golden Boot winner this year - Hamlet has him riding lumber due to poor conditioning as a result of a stomach virus.

Well, there's no substitute for watching Chris bulge the old onion bag live - but since we'll have to wait for that, here's some retro Chris to hold you through to Rolfe's first start....Red Bull?

Download Your Game Guide Here...

The Fire go up against DC United (Die! Die! Die!) today. You can download your game guide here. (Although I'll eat my supporter scarf if this is really the starting line up!) (not to mention I'll loose fantasy points...)

GO FIRE!

The Number One Fire Fan...

In case your wondering who the #1 Fire Fan is...well, his name is Jim. Who else?

Fire Fans Wanna Win

Do they ever!

Week one has ended, and "Fire Fans Wanna Win", managed by John Britvich, has jumped out to an early lead - doubling the median score of the field!

Last year's winner, Jason, is respectably in the pack, while my team is eating everyone else's dust (*cough*)

Tania has a tenuous lock on second place at the moment and Kris is right behind in third.

Remember, the Caliphate of Turkmenistan is on the line. So get busy trading players and shoring up your starting eleven....cuz I'm commin' for ya! (from way back - but I'm commin')

Beckham and Posh on Ali G

As promised, here's that hilarious interview of Becks and Posh by Ali G during the Save Africa telethon several years ago.

Week One Under Way

Week 1 of MFLS is underway, and with it, the quest to defeat Jason. To spice up the competition this year, I've decided we'll compete for 10 FANTASTIC prizes, to be given away to the point winner over each 3 week period. Emphasis on Fantastic.

Our first Fantastic prize........drum roll..........The Caliphate of Turkmenistan!

Yes, score the most Fantasy points and you will be crowned the Caliph of Turkmenistan. What a Fantastic prize! Don't you think? True, there aren't many people in Turkmenistan - but all there are will worship you as their Divine Ruler!

But don't count your slaves yet. First you need to score the most Fantasy points between now and the end of Week 3.

Good Luck!

What's That Sound?

What's that sound? It's me sitting in front of my TV yelling "Holy Crap!".

Did we just witness the birth (or rebirth) of what will be the most storied side in MLS?

Okay, I know, calm down - its just one game. But Holy Crap! That was the soccer equivalent of "Shock and Awe". Did you see Angel at the end of the game? He was just standing in the center of the field turning in circles. And did you catch the camera pan across the Red Bull bench? Juan Carlos was sitting at the end of the bench with his trench coat pulled up over his head, his thumb in his mouth, rocking back and forth mumbling "Mio Dios, Mio Dios, Mio Dios...".

In the 73rd minute, I actually saw a kitchen sink hit Goldwaith.

I was actually considering not going to the Seattle game.

CHANGE OF PLANS!!!!!!!

Beckham Love-O-Meter on the Decline?

In the wake of the Milan/Beckham deal, lots of talking heads are proposing the end of the Beckham love fest. Maybe? Don't know. But if so, this commercial might be a glimpse into the future....

Nyarko Late Season 'Slo-Mo' Finally Explained

John made the observation last year that Nyarko looked like he had lost a step after returning from the knee injury he suffered earlier in the year. I never heard an official explanation for that, until I saw this blurb in the Trib...

Feeling better: Patrick Nyarko's knee continued to bother him even after his MCL surgery in August. According to the Fire forward, a cyst built up in the back of his knee after the surgery."At the end of last season, I was getting shots before games," said Nyarko about the pain.Nyarko had the cyst removed after the MLS season and spent about a month on crutches. The 23-year old forward since has recovered and has not missed any time during the pre-season."There's some soreness, so I ice it after practice," Nyarko said. "But the knee is getting stronger every day."

John's future as an MLS trainer or talent scout is secure. We'll know Nyarko is fully recovered when we see John add him to his Fantasy Roster!

Mapp Scores, Nyarko Continues to Show

Justin Mapp scored the Fire's only goal in a preseason freindly today vs a Mexican side in Mexico. Reports say it was a right footed effort assisted by Chris Rolfe.

Nyarko played forward, again getting valuable minutes to show his stuff pre-season. The Trib had an interview in which Nyarko reported that most of his time has been at Temo's position, and the "obviously, he would need to give it up". Nyarko sounded a bit worried about his prospects to break into the line against Rolfe, McBride, Mapp, Temo, Thorrington, and Papa. He reported that he's been working hard on his "defensive positioning". Could it be that Nyarko thinks his best chance is to move from Forward to holding mid and challenge Logan Pause for his spot? Nyarko's coming after Logan's spot from the front and Conde's coming from the back. Sucks to be Pause.

Ofcourse, Conde can only advance to mid if Brown or Robinson can step into the roll of ceterback. So far, I haven't heard anything about Brown this year and his injuries. Again this year we might have more talent than we know what to do with. Sweet.

Major League Fantasy 2009

The 2009 Fantasy Soccer League kicks off this Sunday (Feb 22)! Feel free to start your teams immediately. Remember, unlimited transfers until opening day.

I'll post more on what prizes we'll have this year.

Obviously, if you haven't been paying attention to the preseason, the time to start is now!

Find the links you need to navigate to the site on the sidebar - same as last year.

Get Jason!

Pan Pacific Tourney Kicks Off Tomorrow

The Pan Pacific Tournament, which features the LA Galaxy vs. Asia (the continent) starts Wednesday, February 18, at 7:30 CST. Two games will be played the first night (the second game starts at 10:00) and two games will be played Saturday (same times).

I'm actually interested to see the Galaxy without Donovan and Beckham. What will Lewis do? Who will they put in goal? Will there be anything remotely resembling a defense on the field?

All games will be televised on Fox Soccer Channel.

The Prodigal Son Returns...

At the border they don't take American Express...but that's ok, cuz Conde's got a Visa!

Our beloved unfrozen caveman fullback has cleared customs and immigration and it back for another season of "Conde CRUSH Little Man" and "Conde SMASH Bouncy Ball" and "Conde no like man with tweety whistle"

Let's hope this is a smooth year for Conde. On the bright side, he's only missed half of the pre-season. His agent is a known factor. And, since he gave his phone away (see earlier posts), JCO can't call him and sow dissent ("Tricksy Words Make Conde Brain Hurt").

All I know is - It's a good season for me when Conde is in the back!! GO FIRE!!

Conde Watch

The Word from Diego....Conde is resolving Visa issues and will be reporting to camp as soon as those matters are...um...resolved.

A negotiating tactic? I have no idea. You would, however, think that by now US immigration would realize he's a soccer player (and not the Progressive Insurance spokesman) and wave him through.

Regardless, the Fire dropped a pre-season game today to the Wizards, 3-2. Nyarko scored 2 (John will be happy), but then gave up three (one on PK). Busch, Rolfe, and Thorrington are in USMNT camp, so Nobel had the GK duties. Defense was same as last year, except no Conde and no Diego.

Hurry Conde! Baky misses you!